by Mark Altrogge
Mark Altrogge lists twelve things to do when you are
criticized:
1. Be quick to
hear
“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be
quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger…” (James 1:19, nasb).
This can be hard to do because our emotions rise and our
minds begin to think of ways to refute the other person. To be quick to
hear means we really do try to listen to and consider what the other person is
saying. We don’t just write it off. Even if it seems unjust or undeserved.
2. Be slow to
speak
“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be
quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger…” (James 1:19, nasb).
Don’t interrupt or respond too quickly. Let them finish.
If you speak too quickly you might speak rashly or in anger.
3. Be slow to
become angry
Why? Because James 1:19-20 says the anger of man does not
produce the righteousness of God. Anger will not make someone do the right
thing. Remember, God is slow to anger, patient and long-suffering with
those who offend Him. How much more should we be.
4. Don’t rail back
“…and while being reviled, He did not revile in return;
while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who
judges righteously…” (1 Peter 2:23). Jesus was unjustly accused, yet
continued to trust the Lord and did not revile in return.
5. Give a gentle
response
“A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). Be
gracious even to those who offend you, even as God is gracious to us when we
offend him.
6. Don’t defend
yourself too quickly
“…casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for
you” (1 Peter 5:7)
Defensiveness can rise out of pride and being
unteachable.
7. Consider what
might be true in the critique, even if it is given in a poor way
Even if it is given with the intent to hurt or mock,
there still might be something worth considering. God might be speaking to you
through this person.
8. Remember the
Cross
Someone has said that people won’t say anything about us
that the Cross hasn’t said and more, which is, we are sinners who deserve
eternal punishment. So actually, anything anyone says about us is less than
what the Cross has said about us. Turn to God who accepts you in Christ
unconditionally despite your many sins and failures. We can be
discouraged when we see areas of sin or failure but Jesus has paid for those on
the cross and God is pleased with us because of Christ.
9. Consider the
fact that we have blind spots
We can’t always see ourselves accurately. Maybe this
person criticizing you is seeing
something you can’t see about ourselves.
10. Pray about the
criticism
Ask God for wisdom – “I will instruct you and teach you
in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you” (Psalm
32:8).
11. Ask others for
their opinion
Share with others. Your critic could be right or
completely wrong. If this is an area of sin or weakness in your life, then
others will have seen it too.
12. Consider the
source
Don’t do this too quickly, but consider the other person’s
possible motives, their level of expertise or wisdom, etc. They may be
criticizing you to hurt you or they may not know what they’re talking about.
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