by Maggie
Paulus
When I was just a little girl, like a wee little thing, I
had a different mom and dad. And they were kind to me, but they had hurts and
they had addictions and they didn't know how to take care of themselves,
much less a wee girl and her little brother.
I mean, they tried. They hung on to us for several years,
but things kept slipping and they kept falling and failing and they mustered up
what strength they could, but they just couldn't make it work and they couldn't
make it right. And so the policemen came over and over again, and took us away
and my mama cried in the back of that police car, hands cuffed, and she told me
that she loved me. And I knew in my little heart, as I looked up at her, tears
streaming and mascara running, I knew that she really did love me. She just
couldn't make it work.
And I still remember my daddy's face, another time, when the
police finally caught up with him, and took his drugs and took his booze and
took us kids. And even though I was just a little thing, legs not even long
enough to dangle from the seat, I knew deep inside that he was in trouble and
that he couldn't make it right.
And I cried for them because every little girl wants her
mommy and needs her daddy, but they were gone, again, and I felt lost. And
the social workers took us to some foster homes, lots of times they took us,
but we were never safe. (Did you know bad guys can live in foster homes?) I lay
in bed at night wishing they would go away. And I was just a little thing.
But, one day something beautiful happened. Something
strange. The social workers came and got us and put our stuff in a brown paper
bag and we met a different mom and dad. And they said they wanted us. Like,
forever. And we could live with them and never go away. And I really liked the
idea, but I didn't know what it really meant to trust, so deep inside I didn't
believe them. Not yet.
So, we came to our new home, and I had a big brother and a
big sister and from the get-go they loved us and they never made us feel
afraid. And my mom and dad told me how they had prayed for us, because God had
put it on their heart to, and so they asked Him to show them where we were and
what to do. And one day my mama walked into that government office, saw our
picture and knew right away. And she told that social worker that we were her kids.
And the lady disagreed and tried to protest and said it wasn't possible, but my
mama knew about the God of all the impossibles, and so it wasn't long before we
came home. For good. And time passed and no one ever took us away, so I
believed.
And as days have turned to months which have turned to
years, I still believe. I believe in that God of all the impossibles. And I've
come to find that He's the One who rescues and He redeems, but He uses our
hands and our feet. And He whispers His rescue plan into our hearts and hopes
that we'll obey.
And this same God has healed those wounds from a mama and a
daddy who just couldn't make it work and couldn't make it right. Because He
gave me another mama and daddy who didn't have it altogether, but who depended
on the only One who does. And people say that time heals all wounds, but I
think it's love.
And every day I'm thankful that I've been rescued and that
my life has been redeemed by the God who can make beauty from a mess. And I'm
thankful for a family who became His hands and feet to reach out with a love
that heals—reached out to the likes of me. When I was just a little thing.
(Thank you, Ma and Pa—a million times, and with tears, thank
you.)
And thank You, Jesus, for always coming for me, for scooping
me up and bringing me home. And thank You for how you take the bad and the ugly
and the messed up in this world and You make it beautiful. You are good. You
are so good. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment